film tv red dwarf

It’s cold outside, there’s no kind of atmosphere,
I’m all alone, more or less,
Let me fly, far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun…
I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh mango juice,
Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun…
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun…

Red Dwarf is a British science fiction comedy franchise which primarily consists of a television sitcom that aired on BBC Two between 1988 and 1999, and on Dave since 2009, gaining a cult following.[1] To date, eleven full series of the show plus one “special” miniseries have aired. The latest series, dubbed Red Dwarf XII, started airing in October 2017.[2]

The series was created by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor. In addition to the television episodes, there are four novels, a radio version adapted from the audiobooks, two pilot episodes for an American version of the show, tie-in books, magazines, and other merchandise.

Despite the pastiche of science fiction used as a backdrop, Red Dwarf is primarily a character-driven comedy, with science fiction elements used as complementary plot devices. In the early episodes, a recurring source of comedy was the Odd Couple-style relationship between the two central characters of the show, who have an intense dislike for each other yet are trapped together deep in space. The main characters are Dave Lister, the last known human alive, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram of Lister’s dead bunkmate. The other regular characters are Cat, a lifeform which evolved from the descendants of Lister’s pregnant pet cat Frankenstein; HollyRed Dwarf’s computer (Series I-V, VIII and briefly in the final episodes of VII, XII); Kryten, a service mechanoid (Series II-present); and Kristine Kochanski, an alternative-reality version of Lister’s long-lost love (Series VII-VIII).

One of the series’ highest accolades came in 1994, when an episode from the sixth series, “Gunmen of the Apocalypse“, won an International Emmy Award in the Popular Arts category, and in the same year the series was also awarded “Best BBC Comedy Series” at the British Comedy Awards.[3] The series attracted its highest ratings, of more than eight million viewers, during the eighth series in 1999.[4]

The revived series on digital channel Dave has consistently delivered some of the highest ratings for non-Public Service Broadcasting commissions in the UK.[5][6][7] The show has been critically acclaimed, and has a Metacritic score of 84/100.[8] Series XI was voted “Best Returning TV Sitcom” and “Comedy of the Year” for 2016 by readers for the British Comedy Guide.[9]


  1. “Worldwide Press Office – Red Dwarf on DVD”. BBC. Retrieved 28 November 2009.
  2. “Red Dwarf XII”. Retrieved 21 August 2017.
  3. “Red Dwarf VI released on DVD 21.02.05”. Retrieved 5 February2009.
  4. “Red Dwarf VIII Aftermath”. Retrieved 5 February 2009.
  5. “Back To Earth Ratings”. Retrieved 21 August 2017.
  6. “Rated And Reviewed”. Retrieved 21 August 2017.
  7. “Topping The Charts”. Retrieved 21 August 2017.
  8. “Red Dwarf Makes a Comeback on Dave”[The Global Herald]. 1 October 2012. Archived from the original on 6 October 2012. Retrieved 8 October 2012.
  9. “ Awards 2016 winners announced”British Comedy Guide. 23 January 2017. Retrieved 23 January 2017.


Red Dwarf Monsters



Image Taken from The Sadgeezers Guide to Cult Sci-fi

Originally Posted by

R.M.G.C.L.F. of the Wizards Community forums.

On this Thread

A polymorph is a hideous, twisted monstrousity the color of cold chicken, wrinkled body with the turns and rivets of a brain, huge eyes, and a long tube ending in a circular mouth.

The polymorph was originally designed as the ultimate warrior. Its shape-shifting abilities allow it to adapt to its terrain and decieve its enemies. Unfortunaely, it had a crucial flaw. It was homicidally insane.

Polymorphs hunt down people, induce heightened emotions before draining them away, then murder them when they’re brain-damaged and psychologically crippled.

Medium Shapshifter(G.E.L.F.) HD 6d8+12(39hp) Initiative +3 Speed 20ft AC 17(+3dex,+4natural) Attacks Headsucker+6 touch or 2 slams+6 melee Damage 1d4+3, slam 1d8+3 Special Attacks Siphon Emotions, alternate form, Frightful Presence Special Qualities Fire and Acid Resistance 10, DR5/+1, SR13, Psychotic Saves Fort+7,Ref+8,Will+5 Abilities Str17,Dex16,Con15,Int14,Wis13, Cha8 Skills Disguise+17, Bluff+6, Spot+10, Listen+10, Search+7, Hide+6, Move Silently+6 (+10 bonus to Disguise due to alternate form) Feats Skill Focus(Disguise), Skill Focus(Bluff), ability focus(frightful presence) Climate/Terrain Any Organization Solitary, pair, or cluster (3-6) CR 5 Alignment Usually Neutral Evil Treasure None Advancement 7-10hd(medium), 11-18hd(large)


Polymorphs prefer to hunt down and siphon opponents one by one, and drain their strongest emotion when there are no companions to point out the deception. Despite this they are not above direct combat with a group, althought they often make breif retreats for a hit-and-run style assault.

Frightful Presence(ex) When a polymorph does something threatening (attacks, roars, rears up) creatures of 6 or less hit dice within 45ft must make a will save dc:16(+2 racial bonus to dc) or become shaken. Those with 3hd or less are frightened instead.

Psychotic A polymorph is homocidally insane and focused on its depraved goals. As such its warped brain is immune to all mind-affecting and morale effects.

Alternate Form(su) A polymorph can assume the shape of any creature witnessed as per the spell polymorph self, as a quickened action. It can also assume the form of animated objects based on any object it has seen. It cannot assume any shape larger than its current size category. All polymorphs have a basic array of simple objects (ball, rock, etc.) and natural creatures (bird, rabbit, constrictor snake, etc.) in their memories. In general they forget a shape 1d12 days after encountering it, losing the form in the dark crevices of their deranged minds. When changing shape they heal a number of hp equal to one half their hit dice. They can also assume a unique form that is statistically identical except it is diminutive in size and has no attacks. This form has a move speed of 40ft and is the second favorite form of the creature.

Siphon Emotions(pi) A polymorph can drain away the capacity for a certain emotion or mode of thought that has been heightened with a successful headsucker attack. First it must provoke the emotion to full capacity. This requires a successful Disguise check to provoke whatever emotion is necisary, and possibly a Bluff check to complete the deception. A creature that fails to see the deception must make a will save dc:17 (Intelligence based, +2 racial bonus to dc) or be taken to the height of that emotional state, dazed for one round by the sheer psychological intensity of feeling and provoking an attack of opportunity from the polymorph. Once the polymorph drains the emotions, the creature falls unconcious and remains out cold for 1d12 minutes, in addition to taking 1d4 temporary Charisma damage. The polymorph can induce and then drain the following emotions:

Guilt Good-aligned creatures suffer a -3 morale penalty to their will saves against this, and evil-aligned ones get a +3 morale bonus. After awakening, they effectively become neutral evil and suffer the effects of an emotion(hatred) spell.

Anger Creatures deprived of their anger lose all capacity for hostile feeling or will to harm. They are incapable of attack or offensive action.

Fear Creatures deprived of fear suffer a -3 morale penalty to their armor class and total recklessness. They will ignore any reason or opportunity for stealth or avoidance of direct conflict, automatically failing any Hide, Move Silently, Bluff, or Diplomacy checks.

Pride Creatures with their pride sapped away lose any self respect and will to live. They fall under the effects of an emotion(despair) spell, turn to drugs and Alcohol where available, and automatically fail any perform or Intimidate checks. They have a general lack of care for their own existance, and will not go through elaborate measures to avoid destruction.

For each emotion drained beyond the first, the subject suffers a cumulative
-4 penalty to Wisdom and Intelligence as their psyche begins to crumble without the basic regulation of such mental stimuli. When left with only one or two emotions, the polymorph slays them, usually meeting with minimal resistance.
If the polymorph is slain or the ability damage healed, the emotion in question is restored.

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Originally Posted by

R.M.G.C.L.F. of the Wizards Community forums.

On this Thread


Image Taken from The Sadgeezers Guide to Cult Sci-fi

In their true form, psirens resemble enormous hideous dung beetles with wide, sucker-like, proboscoid mouths, emitting a gentle rythmical hum.

Psirens are murderous, evil monstrousities. These creatures lure travellers with illusions designed to tempt them. They take everything of value from them, and then glean sadistic pleasure by sucking their brains out with straws.

Medium Aberration (G.E.L.F.) HD 4d8+4(22hp) Initiative +1 Dexterity Speed 20ft AC 15(+1dex,+4 natural) Attacks 2 claws+5 melee or straw+2 melee (as sneak attack or crit only) Damage Claw 1d6+2, Straw 2 peircing and Drain Brain Face/Reach 5ft by 5ft/5ft Special Attacks Read Thoughts, Telepathic Illusions, Drain Brain Special Qualities SR8, Cold Resistance 5 Saves Fort+1,Ref+1,Will+4 Abilities Str17,Dex12,Con13,Int13,Wis14, Cha12 Skills Sense Motive+9, Spot+5, Listen+5, Disguise+4,Bluff+7, Pick Pocket+3 Feats
Ability Focus (telepathic illusions), Skill Focus(Bluff), Weapon Focus(straw) (Psirens recieve one racial bonus feat) Climate/Terrain Asteroid fields and remote forests and mountains Organization Solitary, pair, or cluster(3-6) CR 2 Alignment Usually Neutral Evil Treasure Double Standard Advancement 5-8hd(medium)


Read Thoughts(pi)

Psirens can percieve the deep reaches of a sentient beings thoughts. They use this informations to generate illusions, but they do not have concious access to anything beyond the knowledge granted by a detect thoughts spell.

Telepathic Illusions(pi)

Psirens can generate halucinatory illusions to mimick desires or emulate a person. The former can appear as communications (such as false scrying visions or as per a major image spell) and the latter allow them to disguise themselves in the same manner as a polymorph spell, except that they remain the same size. The targeted subjects get a will save dc:18 to disbelieve. The latter allow a save for personal contact as per change self, but the dc increases by 1 with each failed save for that illusion. The latter are dependant on the self-perception of the person copied, any delusions of ability or grandure they suffer from are acted out in the illusion. For example, if a low-Charisma fighter thought he was an excellent singer, the illusion-disguised psiren would have great singing ability regardless of how poor the original was.

Drain Brain(ex)

A psiren that hits with a straw can begin to suck out the target’s brain, dealing 1d12 damage and 1d6 permanent Intelligence and Wisdom damage each round, and they must make a fortitude save each round or become paralyzed. Because of the lower accuracy and general tendancy, they do not attempt to drain brains until they have successfully decieved them and taken anything of value.

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Emohawk Polymorph II

Originally Posted by

R.M.G.C.L.F. of the Wizards Community forums.

On this Thread

Emohawk Polymorph II

Image Taken from The Sadgeezers Guide to Cult Sci-fi

An Emohawk appears as a small, puppet-like grotesque creature otherwise similar to a polymorph.

Emohawks are a smaller, less agressive variety of polymorph. They are half-domestic, and many can be tamed and used as pets.

Emohawk Diminutive Shapeshifter (G.E.L.F.) HD 2d8+2(11hp) Initiative +2 Speed 5ft AC 16(+2dex,+4 size) Attacks Headsucker+3 melee or bite+2 melee Damage Headsucker 1 plus personality drain, bite 1d4-2 Face/Reach 1ft/0ft Special Attacks personality drain, alternate form Special Qualities Horrific appearance, SR7, Darkvision60ft, Fire and Acid resistance 5 Saves Fort+4,Ref+5,Will+4 Abilities Str7,Dex15,Con13,Int2,Wis13,Cha4 Skills Spot+4, Listen+4, Disguise+14, Hide+3 (+10 bonus to Disguise due to alternate form ability, +3 racial bonus to Escape Artist checks) Feats Weapon Focus(headsucker) Climate/Terrain Any Organization Solitary, master (one plus 1 gelf humanoid or humanoid), flock(2-4) CR 1 Alignment Always Neutral Treasure None Advancement 3-4hd(diminutive), 5-6hd(tiny)


Like all polymorphs, emohawks sneak about, disguised as animals and objects, waiting for somebody to happen upon them, attacking and draining them, then returning to a disguised form so as to catch the next target unawares.

Personality Drain(su) Unlike a true polymorph, an emohawk preys more upon personality facets than emotions.
With a successful headsuck attack, an emohawk can stun its target for 1d6 rounds, deal 1 permanent Charisma drain from the resulting personality sapping, and alter them by removing their most powerful facet.

Appearance A snappy dresser, at least 5 ranks in knowledge(fashion) or Craft(seamstress), or at least two outfits both of which cost 30 gold or highe and Charisma of 13 or higher. Recieves -8 penalty to Charisma, and automatically fails all such checks.

Bitterness must be somebody with Charisma score of 5 or lower. The person actually recieves a Charismatic inversion. Subtract current Charisma score from 10 and add the result to 12 for new Charisma. However, the character becomes insanely altruistic, and tends to go through irrational measures to be kind and pleasant. They suffer a -2 penalty to AC and must make a will save dc:17 to back down from any confrontation, and tend towards the most radical measures possible.

Noble character with an extreme good tendancies, usually paladin or cleric of a good god. The character’s alignment shifts to chaotic evil effectively, they must make a will save dc:15 to not attempt to pick pocket a fellow, lie when asked for important information, or betray a comrad.

Brave Characters with high will saves, any special resistance to fear. The character becomes a simpering coward. They are constantly shaken, and suffer a -5 penalty to saving throws against fear, and must make a will save dc:15 to take the offensive or go first in line.

Free-willed A character with chaotic alignment and a will save bonus of +5 or higher or the Iron Will feat. The character shifts to lawful, becomes boring and predicatable giving others a +10 bonus to Sense Motive checks against them and automatically failing all perform, Intimidate, and Diplomacy checks. They suffer a -4 penalty to will saves and a -8 to saves against mind control.

Tricky Character with at least 4 ranks in two of the following: Bluff, Hide, Move Silently, Open Lock, Disguise, or pick pocket, and evil or chaotic alignment. The evil or chaotic alignment portion reverses, and they become extremely open, revealing information when asked, automatically failing all Bluff, Hide, Move Silently, Disguise, and pick pocket checks.

Sageous Intelligence or Wisdom 15 or higher. Reduce said score to 9, suffer -2 penalty to all knowledge, Spellcraft, and Concentration checks.

Each facet drained beyond the first incurs a -2 penalty to Intelligence and Wisdom. The effects can be repressed for one day with a Lesser restoration spell, but it takes a remove curse spell or healing the ability drain to end the effect. It can also be ended by killing the emohawk and consuming a stew made from the pulsating luminous blue sack inside its body. The sack can be eaten raw to the same effect, but it is far less appetizing. Knowing this requires a knowlege(dungeoneering) check dc:18.

Alternate Form(su) As per the polymorph spell, except the emohawk assumes only the forms of animal-type creatures or inanimate objects, none of which can be more than one size category larger than it. Unlike its greater polymorph kin, it does not remain animate in object form. A slain emohawk reverts to its true state.

Emohawk Familiars and Animal Companions An emohawk can become a familiar or an animal companion at level 2(?), even a pet with a successful Handle Animal check. In all of these cases, in addition to the normal masterCreature symbiosis, it bestows a -2 penalty to Charisma, due to its sapping of its masters emotional and personal energies. An emohawk familiar grants its master an emotion-sapping power of their own through its empathetic link. Once per day they can use a supernatural ability that functions as a calm emotions spell, healing 1d4hp if they successfully remove any emotional effects.

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Despair Squid

Originally Posted by

R.M.G.C.L.F. of the Wizards Community forums.

On this Thread

(created by modifying the stats in the monster manual for a giant squid)

The despair squid varies little from an ordinary giant squid in appearance, save a slightly more primal look, silver slime on the mouth and tentacles, and some curving shell-like plating on the mantle.

The despair squid is a monstrous beast that developed in an underwater terraforming project. It quickly destroyed its creators. The despair squid is named for its hallucinogenic venom that produces intense depression and suicidal dellusions in its victims.

Huge magical beast HD 14d8+14(77hp) Initiative +4 Speed Swim 80ft AC 19(-2 size,+4 Dexterity,+7 natural) Attacks 10 tentacle rakes+15 melee, bite+10 melee Damage tentacle 1d6+8 plus poison, bite 2d8+4 plus poison Face/Reach 10ft by 20ft/10ft (40ft with tentacle) Special Attacks Improved Grab, constrict 1d6+8, ink cloud, poison, frightful presence Special Qualities Jet, DR5/+2, SR18, Fire resistance 10 Saves Fort+8,Ref+12,Will+6 Abilities Str26,Dex19,Con12,Int1,Wis14,Cha5 Skills Listen+9, Spot+9 Feats None Climate/Terrain Deep Ocean Organization Solitary CR 12 Alignment Always Neutral Treasure None Advancement 15-18hd(huge), 19-37hd(gargantuan)


Ink Cloud(ex) A despair squid can emit a cloud of jet-black ink 20ft high by 20ft wide by 40ft long once a minute as a free action. The cloud provides total concealment, which the squid normally uses to escape a losing fight. Creatures within the cloud suffer the effects of total darkness.

Jet(ex) A despair squid can jet backward once a round as a double move action at a speed of 320ft.

Improved Grab(ex) A despair squid that hits with a successful tentacle rake can automatically begin a grapple as a free action.

Constrict(ex) A despair squid deals automatic tentacle damage each round to a grappled opponent.

Frightful Presence(ex) Whenever a despair squid does something threatening (rear up, snap its beak, attack, etc.) those within 80ft with 14 or fewer hit dice must make a will save dc:15 or be shaken. Those with 7 or fewer hit dice become frightened instead.

Poison(ex) A creature hit by a despair squid’s attack or even touching some of the slimey residue must make a foritude save dc:18 or suffer from its neurotoxin. The initial damage is identical to the effect of an emotion(despair) spell, the secondary damage sends the subjects into a hallucinatory dystopia for 1d12 minutes (treat as dazed with -3 penalty to AC while in this state, except that they occasionally move and talk within the fantasy world) during which there is a cumulative 8% chance that they will attempt to kill themselves with the quickest method available (usually attacking themselves with a weapon). An odd effect of this toxin is that all those exposed within the same 10 minutes suffer from the same dellusion. Somebody not under the effects of this hallucination can try to interact with them, giving them a will save against the poison dc to return to reality.

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Mutton Vindaloobeast

Originally Posted by

R.M.G.C.L.F. of the Wizards Community forums.

On this Thread

A vindaloobeast is a horror to behold. It’s body is a messy human-shaped collection of dribbling cow flesh and sauces, hanging with half-formed threads of organic matter. Its gruesome head is a large deformed bull skull.

Vindaloobeasts where created in something describable as “a polymorph any object spell gone horribly wrong.” The half-complete transformation ignited twisted life in the beast. It roamed forth into the world, sowing carnage and destruction in its demented rage. Perhaps it fed upon the flesh of bison and chili peppers, or maybe some of the horrid magic that first created it continued to work making it grow and divide. Whatever the cause, the world is now plagued by more than a dozen dreaded vindaloobeasts.

The vindaloobeast has little goals in its warped mind. It smashes and tears at all it encounters, and unfortunately it is nearly indestructable. The secret to its destruction is still not well-known amongst adventuring circles, and requires a Knowledge (dungeoneering) check dc:26. Fortunately it is a well-known culinary fact, and a mere Profession(chef) check dc:16 or knowledge(cooking) check dc:14 will establish the one thing that can easily kill a vindaloo.

Large Aberration HD 5d8+25(47hp) Initiative +6 Speed 40ft AC 17(+2dex,-1size,+6 natural) BAB/Grapple +2/+12 Attacks 2 slams+7 melee or gore+8 melee Damage Slam 1d8+6, Gore 1d12+9 Face/Reach 5ft by 5ft/10ft Special Attacks Frightful Presence, Scent of Curry, Musical Tingle, Spicy Special Qualities DR20/+3, Cold, Fire, and Electric Resistance 20, SR15, PR19, Twisted Mind, Lager Vulnerability, Blindsight 60ft, Low-Light Vision Saves Fort+6,Ref+3,Will+5 Abilities Str23,Dex15,Con21,Int4,Wis14,Cha12 Skills Spot+3, Listen+3, Intimidate+6 (+4 racial bonus to Intimidate, -3 to Bluff, Diplomacy, and Gather Information) Feats Improved Initiative, Weapon Focus(Gore) Climate/Terrain Any land or underground Organization Solitary CR 9 Alignment Usually Chaotic Evil Treasure None Advancement 6-9 HD(Large), 10-13 HD(Huge)


Vindaloos clambor on relentlessly and unyeildingly, battering down anythign in their path. They show no fear even towards weapons or spells capable of bypassing its behemoth defenses. Only their primary weakness can evoke any sort of fear or retreat from them.

Frightful Presence(ex) Range 30ft, creatures of 5hd or less are shaken, those of 2hd or less are frightened. Save dc:13.

Scent Of Curry(ex) The powerful odor of of a vindaloobeast fills the air wherever it goes. Creatures within 40ft suffer a -3 morale penalty to fortitude saves and AC. Any creatures with the Scent feat must make a fortitude save dc:18 (Constitution-based) open entering the area or be stunned for two rounds and lose the use of the Scent feat for the rest of the day. Creatures with the fire subtype instead gain a +3 morale bonus to reflex saves and attack rolls.

Musical Tingle(su) A vindalloobeast is constantly accompanied by a distant strain of Indian Resturant Music, granting it a -3 penalty to Move Silently checks.

Spicy(ex) Any creature using a bite attack on a vindaloobeast takes 1d8 fire subdual damage. A creature foolish enough to swallow it whole takes 2d10 fire damage each round and suffers acid damage equal to the amount dealt by its own swallow whole attack for the first round.

Twisted Mind(ex) Because of its maligned state, a vindaloobeast is severely deranged. Effects that would cause a vindalloobeast fear instead make it confused for 2 rounds. Everytime it encounters beef, it falls to Wisdom3 for 1d4 minutes.

Lager Vulnerability(ex) The one thing that can kill a vindaloobeast is a strong lager. Due to restricitons on time-period availability, all ale counts as lager. A single mug of ale deals 1d12 acid damage to a vindaloobeast and forces it to make a fortitude save dc:10+damage dealt or be stunned for one round (treat it as a ranged touch attack with a 10ft range increment). An entire barrel forced it to make a fortitude save dc:25 or be killed instantly, exploding in a sloppy mess. Even if it succeeds the save it still takes 3d10 acid damage. (Treat barrels of ale as large-sized improvised thrown weapons dealing 1d8 base damage, or if rolled they require a reflex save dc:10+the strneght of thrower-1 per 5ft of distance to avoid).